下面的这篇作文是一篇极为优秀的范文，作者为 Lanren A Hackney，被耶鲁大学，麻省理工学院和波士顿学院同时录取。

原文：

I'M GOING RUNNING TODAY. I am not concerned about my calorie consumption for the day, nor am I anxious to get in shape for the winter season. I just want to go running。

I used to dislike running. "If you don't win this game, you're all running five miles tomorrow," the field hockey coach used to warn, during those last days of October when the average temperature seemed to be decreasing exponentially. And so, occasionally, my grief-stricken team would run numerous miserable laps around the fields. At the end of these excursions, our faces and limbs would be numb, and we would all have developed those notorious flu-like symptoms; but the running made us better in the long run, I suppose. Nevertheless, I counted down the days until the end of the field hockey season, vowing never to put on a pair of running shoes again. Then I surprised myself by signing up for outdoor track in the second half of sophomore year. I was foolish to have believed that I could ever escape this insidious and magnetic addiction。

Anyone would have thought that I'd be off the team in a few days, but the last week of January caught me splashing through puddles of melted ice, and February winds nearly blew me off the track. I looked forward to practices this time around, to the claps and the persistent cheers of my fellow trackies. I was feeling a "runner's high" spurred by the endorphins released by exercise. But to attribute my affinity for running solely to chemistry diminishes the personal importance that running has for me。

I like running—in the cool shade of the towering oak trees, and in the warm sunlight spilling over the horizon, and in the drops of rain falling gently from the clouds. Certain things become clear to me when I'm running—only while running did I realize that "hippopotami" is possibly the funniest word in the English language, and only while running did I realize that the travel section of The York Times does not necessarily provide an accurate depiction of the entire world. Running lends me precious moments to contemplate my life: while running I find time to dream about changing the world, to think about recent death of a classmate, or to wonder about the secret to college admission

Running is the awareness of hurdles between me and the finish line; running is the desire to overcome them. Running is putting up with aches and pains, relishing the knowledge that, in the end, I will have built strength and endurance. Running is the instant clarity of vision with which I can see my future just one hundred yards in the distance; it is the understanding that these crucial steps will determine victory or defeat。

Running is not the most important thing in the world to me, but it is what fulfills me when time permits. And right now, before the sun goes down, I like to take advantage of the road that lies ahead。

翻译：

"今天我要去跑步。我不是担心一天的卡路里消耗，我也不是渴望在冬季保持自己的身材。我只是想去跑步。

我过去并不喜欢跑步。“如果你们没有赢得这场比赛，明天你们所有人都得跑5英里。”曲棍球教练过去常常警告；那是十月的最后几天，平均气温仿佛呈指数般骤降。是的，偶尔，我们可怜的球队队员会在田径场上痛苦地跑上很多圈。在长跑结束的时候，我们的脸和四肢会变得麻木，我们都会出现类似臭名昭著的流感一样的症状；我猜想，就长远而言长跑对我们有利。尽管如此，我都会数着距离曲棍球赛季结束还剩几天，并发誓绝不再穿上跑鞋。然后，连我自己也感到惊奇，十年级下学期的时候，我又报名参加了室外径赛队。我傻乎乎地以为我本可摆脱这种渐渐积累且磁性般的跑步瘾。

任何人都以为我会在几天内脱离径赛队，但一月的最后一个星期，我跑过冰雪消融后的水坑，水花飞溅；二月的风里，我几乎被吹离跑道。我期待在这个时节训炼，以回应同伴队友的鼓励和不断的喝彩。我感受到因锻炼释放的内啡肽刺激产生的跑步者的快感。但是，仅仅把我对跑步的爱好归结于化学反应是降低了跑步对我个人的重要性。

我喜欢跑步－在高耸橡树阴凉的树荫里，在从地平线溢漫出的温暖阳光里，在从云彩中落下的雨滴里。当我跑步时，有些事情对我会变得清晰。只有当我跑步时，我才意识到，河马可能是英语里最搞笑的单词；只有当我跑步时，我才意识到《纽约时报》的旅游版并不一定提供了对整个世界的准确描绘。跑步给了我思考我的人生的宝贵时刻：跑步时，我有时间去梦想改变世界，去思考最近去世的同学，或去猜想大学招生的秘密。

跑步是对我和终点之间的障碍的意识;跑步是克服这些障碍的愿望。跑步是忍受疼痛，品味这样的认知：最终，我会建立起力量和耐力。跑步是瞬间视野的清晰，使我看到我的未来只在百码以外；跑步是一种理解：剩余的关键步子将决定成败。

跑步对我并不是世界上最重要的事，但它却在时间容许下让我充实满足。现在，日落之前，我想利用前方的道路，再跑上一回。

点评：

这篇作文的题目是关于课外体育活动。利用跑步锻炼这个题材，作者阐述了自己对人生现实的认知，充满了积极向上的期待。

美国的大学教育是普通教育，培养有一技之长、对社会有用并且能适应社会的人。现实社会，不可避免会有很多不公平的地方，要成功，需要有顽强的心理素质。名牌大学对学生未来的发展期望很高，对学生承受压力、正视挫折的能力非常看重。很多大学的命题作文直接或间接地考察学生面对人生逆境的表现；而一个聪明的学生也会利用机会展示自己面对挑战的勇气和进取心。

在这篇作文里，作者开始就提到了自己早年在曲棍球队的经历：一个粗暴有虐待倾向的教练和惩罚性的长跑。尽管心里很不乐意，作者并没有放弃，反而以一种适应的态度去对待并最终迷上了这项运动。径赛队同伴的鼓励，让我们看到了作者珍惜友爱和社会的温情；作者的感悟，让我们既看到了作者走向社会的心理准备，又充满了积极的人生向往。一般的作文要求500单词左右，这篇文章共503单词，在有限的空间，包含了磨难，毅力，关怀，理解，憧憬。全文词汇优雅丰富，修辞巧妙，用了很多排比句，画面感非常强，感染力也非常强。在具体写作技巧上，有二点值得一提：

1. 使用了不少科学词汇，如指数般(exponentially)，内啡肽(endorphin)，爱好(affinity)，这些词汇的应用显然有利于叩击麻省理工学院的大门。

2. 巧妙甚至狡猾地使用了幽默。幽默是个双刃剑，往往容易弄巧成拙，一般人在作文里会尽量避免。然而，作者却大胆地调侃道：跑步时，会去猜想大学招生的秘密--这简直是在向正在阅读此作文的招生人员叫阵！但是，说这句话的时候，招生的人应该已经为其经历和毅力所触动，而且前面谈到河马单词，已经把作文的节奏调得轻松，这句话会让招生人员会心一笑，拉近了彼此的距离。而随后梦幻般的紧凑道白，为这篇作文留下了非常美妙的收尾。